2010
07.06

What-a-jerk.com

She’s eating crackers and I can’t even look at her, I’m so mad.

“WHAH? WHAH SCHA MADDA?”

Cracker crumbs all flying around all over the place. So mad.

“WHaH” she’s saying again, with a higher pitch.

I look at her.

“Those are MY crackers,” I blurt out. “There I said it. Yeah, that’s right. Those crackers you’re eating, they belong to me, and you’re just double fistin’ em into your big dumb cracker crunching mouth. It’s like… it’s like you have a little cracker holocaust happening right in your face, and you’re just following orders, and I’m just sitting here watching it happen.”

She stops chewing, and looks down.

The guilt settles in almost immediately. She’s got a mouthful of my crackers and now I feel bad about overreacting. Your standard cracker crime fallout.

She swallows what’s in her mouth and hands me what’s left of the crackers.

“I’m sorry.”

The regret is instantaneous.

“Hey look, I mean, you can have some, I just…”

But she’s gone and the door shuts quietly behind her.

Probably went to steal some cheese.

2 comments so far

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  1. password: nachocheese123

  2. “She” is a mouse, right?

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