Trevor was stealing colt 45’s when he found out his dad had cancer.
His sister from Ottawa called, and blurted it through tears before hanging up.
A colt 45 dropped from waist height will break exactly 84% of the time.
The beer ran under the small convenience store shelving and emerged in the next aisle.


Uri ran the convenience store full time,
and got robbed at gun point part-time, on the side.
He unboxed penny candy and telephone minute cards,
and thought about the rent, and about his old job back home, as a brain surgeon.
(where he would get his secretary, part-time, on the side.)
He wondered how many of these cards would get stolen (exactly 18%)


Jessica ran out of minutes on her phone mid-proposal,
devastating both parties involved. He thought she hung up on him.
She swore loudly, and threw her phone at the sidewalk (72% chance of breaking).
The phone exploded, offering pieces of personal information in every direction.
She collapsed on the sidewalk sobbing.
She might have even said yes.


Glenn was a street sweeper with a winning lottery ticket,
that wouldn’t be drawn for three more days.
His father named him Glenn so that we would have the perfect name for street sweeping,
and when applying for the job, he had added under skills & assets “my name is Glenn.”
He wasn’t married, and had never kissed a girl,
though he thought the one crying on the sidewalk was awfully pretty.
(4% chance of a first date, 87% chance, three days from now.)

Self-Isolation – Day 33: Breathe dudes.

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