2010
03.23

Apparently I have an allergy to Splenda, er something cause I ate (drank) some of it and it made my heart feel like an inspired greyhound, racing down the last stretch while eye of the tiger plays in the background. Then it hurt for three days. Awesome!

Going to Cuba tomorrow. It will be hot. There will be beer. It’s kind of like getting an advance on your summer, except hotter and with free booze all the time. Not really free. But you know. Convenient. Here’s the mug we all have, http://reviews.canadiantire.ca/9045/0422608P/reviews.htm.

Mug Reviews: 5 Star.
Would Buy Again.
Comments: “THIS MUG IS HUGE AS SHIT.”

2010
03.10

The world ended on a wednesday afternoon, and by that friday morning we were all bored again. So easily we slip back into a daily routine, wake up to a grey sky and cough the thick ash. Spend all morning filtering grey water, and eating rotting apples, build a fire, pray for death, sleep. Wake up the next day and do it all again.

The world ended just like everybody feared it would. It didn’t explode or disappear or get swallowed by the sun. Nothing like that. Nothing silly like that. Humanity simply reached it’s magical milestone. The critical point were few controled the lives and lively hood of everyone.

And once this point was reached, we all fell victim to the off handed comment that this political leader made about the way this other political leaders wife looks in a bathing suit. Some red glowing buttons are pressed and orders are given, and suddenly because the first lady just can’t say no to Chicago style deep dish frozen pizza’s, we’re making mittens out of burnt car seats and gearing up for what looks to be a long, cold, nuclear winter.

But we learn to adapt. This is human being’s greatest asset, adaptation. Before the bombs fell we drank water you could see through from the same plastic bottles that paid for the bombs. We paid people to cook us food, and sent it back when it wasn’t the right temperature. This is what we knew.

But now we know something else.

The best place to find sleep is under bolted down subway benches. Hand held, battery operated fans are the new Lexus. A sac of potatoes and some know-how will get you drunker than you’ve ever been, and temporarily blind. And in this world, this ugly smoking pile of whatever’s left over, the blind are king.

2010
03.01

word.